English

I started speaking and writing in English since 2016. Because of a close friend who didnt speak to me except in english and a lil bit of Malay. It did triggered me back then.

So i practiced on writing for my blog. I am proudly a wordpress user. Got no English teacher, so as you see, my grammar is bad and my vocab is too basic.

But to get on this still lowly level, my friends did a great job as my English corrector. Yeah, they laughed at me, a lot , but they did help.

Now, i feel more confident to get married with a british man. #SpecialApplause

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Email

Diligently checking my email everyday.

Sick

Cannot sleep due to heavy headache. So i woke up at 4 and cupping my back using wired pum.

Used too much muscle yesterday. But i cannot sick, ive a lot thing to do today.

Allah, please heal me…

Haha

Wow wordpress, you just asked me when i want to publish my latest post if “i am confident to publish” if not, i can leave it as a draf first at the editor side. Hahahahhaa

Know that, im here whenever i want to express my feeling that occurs at that time. So draf might leave my blog empty. Haha..

I just miss my days in egypt. Miss my friends. Miss my excursion.

I m happy doing therapy service bcs i can connect to people and its stimulating my blood circulation.

Okay, when i got a car, i ll be doing grab. Hahahahhahahahahahahhaha… bcs all i wanna do rn is, leaving to somewhere far.

My friends still working in Korea, should i join them too? Hahahaha.. (expected that father will strictly oppose this plan) hahahahha

Night

Let me stay here for a while. To cry…

I dont have anything to write up here. Just a lil bit upset of my poor condition.

I might, not further my master study due to financial problem. Yeah, i am living on my own expense since my latest year in Egypt. So, I must earn rm700-1000 for monthly expense if i live at KL, doing master at UM. And finding vacancy that offers half day/part time job is not easy though.

I dont know what to do wt my life either. I am not into 8am-6pm worklife circle. So im doing BladkapingHijama as my own brand of cupping therapy service. But also doing freelance at other therapy centre. Hahaha, not to brag but two centres offered me jobs bcs they knew my value in this field.

Yet unfortunately, i dont have my own transport. So its the main reason why im being upset tonight.

I texted mom if i could use her car tomorrow. Yeahh, i ve been sharing her car too frequent lately. She replied wt a message that broke me down. Then i asked father. He said he already had a plan but, its okay if i wanna use it.

Then i said, its okay bcs i can ride a bus instead.

Im trapped in this house. Trapped in my financial problem.

See, i really thought that im not going to write any.. huhu…

Uslub

TEGUR IKUT SUKA HATI KAU JE

Selain daripada perbuatan makan dan buang air kecil, manusia juga setiap hari akan membuat teguran. Manusia kadang-kadang tak pernah ambil kisah samada org yang ditegurnya mengaplikasikan teguran atau tidak, yang penting mereka berasa puas dapat berkata-kata atau memukul.

YE LA, CAKAP BAIK-BAIK TAK DENGAR

Ketika saya di maahad, muncul fenomena ustaz-ustaz mulut pedas yang menjadi kegilaan remaja dan orang ramai. Pedas dan lawak. Yang tak senonoh pun ada. Kuliah mereka sangat laku sehingga menceroboh pasaran seluruh Malaysia.

Bagi mereka, cakap elok-elok tak faham. Cakap kasar baru sentap! baru tikam jiwa!

Nak tarbiyah kena sentaap boh. Slow-slow ni gaya ustaz-ustaz lama. Mereka dah tak laku. Kuliah diorang sekali datang je lepas tu tak bernafsu nak pergi lagi dah.

USLUB DAKWAH KENA PELBAGAI KAN? MEMANG ZAMAN SEKARANG PERLU KASAR SIKIT 😒

Haah, memang WAJIB pelbagaikan pun. Tapi pelbagai tu bukan maksud harini rasa nak cemuh orang, cemuh. Esok rasa nak cakap elok-elok, cakap slow-slow. Lusa rasa perlu menyindir, kita menyindir. Atau rasa dah ramai ustaz pakai uslub baik, kita perlu ada pendakwah yg pakai uslub kasar.

Atau isteri dah pakai identiti lemah lembut, ayah kena la garang-garang. 😒

Pelbagai tu maksudnya kita melihat kepada dengan siapa kita bercakap. Dengan budak darjah 3 atau darjah 5, orang phd atau spm, orang perempuan atau lelaki, orang eropah atau melayu, orang dekat atau orang bukan keluarga, orang yang mudah dengar nasihat atau memang bebal. Kemudian barulah kita pilih uslub apa yg sesuai, nak slowtalk ke, nak menyindir ke, nak usap kepala ke.

Selain uslub, ambil kira perbuatan kita sesuai dengan teguran atau tak. Tidak lupa apakah isi teguran yang wajar disebut. Perkataan apa yang nak guna. Dan apa solusi yang dicadangkan.

TEGUR UNTUK KEBAIKAN TAPI KEJAHATAN YANG DIBALAS

Inilah antara kesan-kesan yang berlaku hasil daripda perbuatan teguran kita harian.

Kita menyindir adik lelaki dewasa melayu sebab malas buang sampah dengan ayat, “Hidup ni biar berguna sikit!” Sedangkan, dia memang dah banyak khidmat dan korban harta benda. Mana egonya tak naik. Alhasil, memang nak masuk plastik hitam keempat dah tersadai depan pintu.

Saya hadir ke sebuah konferen 100 ulama-ulama besar dari seluruh dunia datang, hanya seorang alim diberi masa selama 5 minit untuk bercakap, manakala ulamak2 lain mengangkat tangan untuk turut berdiskusi, mc majlis yang saya hormati berkata, “Kita kena beradab. Kita kena jaga masa sharp on time.”

Kemudian mc membuat taklikan beliau dan memanjangkan ucapannya selama beberapa minit.

Seorang usahawan yang menegur teknik-teknik usahawan lain dengan mengatakan itu teknik kuno, tak maju. Alhasil, bukan yg ditegur itu menurut kata, sebaliknya naik benci dan mencemuh. Lagi teruk pasang sihir.

Suami tersasul bila tengok rambut isteri banyak gugur, “Botak dah laaa…” menangis si isteri dibuatnya. Padahal satu dunia tahu yang perempuan ni penyakit inferiority complex dia melampau-lampau.

Apakah lebih baik kalau suami bertanya kenapa banyak sangat gugur ni, sayang? Potong rambut bagi pendek sikit, boleh kurangkan gugur. Atau pakai minyak naqiy argan oil (hikhikhik)…

KALAU NAK MARAH, JELASKAN KENAPA

KALAU NAK MARAH, BIAR IA WAJAR DIMARAHI

Wanita dan kanak-kanak adalah golongan yang paling sensitif dalam dunia bila masuk bab kena tegur. Lelaki dia relax. Ape dia kisah yang penting jangan perendahkan dia.

Saya kecik-kecik selalu tertanya-tanya, kenapa abah selalu pukul? Apa salah saya? Beli kuih donut rm3, tiba-tiba abah mengamuk kejar saya sampai keliling meja.

Jadi zaman kecik saya hancur, yang saya ingat adalah saya selalu kena pukul, kena buli di sekolah, cikgu buat pertemuan persatuan banin banat semata2 siilly mistake yg sy pernah buat, saya dipaksa hadir juga walaupun hari tu hujan lebat dan waktu pembelajaran sedang berlangsung.

Memori lain terpadam. Barangkali ada peristiwa yang best, tapi saya langsung dah tak ingat. Cerita perit, cerita pedih sahaja yang kekal sampai ke harini. Sampai saya rasa saya ada masalah mental, hahaha, sampai tahap saya praktikkan apa yang saya pernah kena pada org lain.

Kau terasa hati dengan kawan kau, jangan bagi signal dengan sekadar tak bertegur dan menjeling, be matured, tegur and tell them what have they done.

Anak buah kau tarik wayar iphone original dari plug, kau sempuk dia sampai jatuh. Dia tak sakit, tapi emosi dia koyak. Dia memang belajar, okay apa yang aku buat tadi salah rupanya. Tapi budak tu turut fikir, kenapa dengan orang tua ni? Sikit-sikit marah, naik tangan, naik suara. Alhasil, budak tu makin tak respect kau. Makin tak dengar cakap kau. Kau pada mata dia sudah tak menarik.

Saya sendiri selalu tegur anak buah saya yg nakal. Kerap teguran saya dengan cara berunding berbanding amaran.

Saya kurangkan ayat, “Buat lah, saya kurung dalam almari nanti,” still pakai sebab kita tak mampu berunding dan offer things sepanjang masa.

Ayat yg byk sy pakai, “Kalau nak tengok kartun, pergi lap lantai ni dulu…” “Awak mengaji 4 mukasurat, saya bawa pergi taman mainan petang nanti”

“Lipat baju, saya main dengan awak petang ni”, yg bab lipat baju ni tiga empat kali je saya ajak dengan offer things. Lepas tu tiap kali saya ajak lipat baju, memang anak buah saya menurut tanpa offer.

………………………………………….

MENEGUR biarlah pasang niat sebagaimana kamu nak solat. Kalau niat kamu nak dia berubah, automatik kamu akan guna isi dan cara yg terbaik agar dia berubah.

Kalau niat kamu asalkan melepas geram. Kamu hanya puas ketika itu. Tiada siapa yg berubah. Dia akan ulang dan kamu akan naik geram lagi.

(Pendapat peribadi. You may agree and disagree)

Cry

I was searching for a traditional food photo that was taken last year when i traveled to Iran, to share with my japan tour leader group. But i ended up flashing back my memories in Europe, Balkan, with Aisyah (which it made me miss her a lot that i want to cry) but it wasnt her who made me cry. It was Syifaa pictures.

Syifa died just before my trip to Europe and UK wt Aisyah. There are a lot of photos and it turned me breathing hardly. My chest is heavy.

I cried and i said inside of me, “I want Syifaa back…”

My sister made a prank to Syifa’s brother a few weeks ago. She said that syifa called him. Then fakhrul thought that he was talking to Syifa while he was actually talking to his mother.

Then i talked to him a day after, “Did you talk to Syifa?” He said yes. “Do you wanna meet her?” He replied, “Syifa told me to come. She said there is no ghost around her, but she herself is a ghost..”

Like, this dialog supposed to be funny, yet people laughed when my sister shared abt this story. But me, i am crying inside. I miss her a lot that i restrain myself from look up for her pictures..

Vomiting

Last Wednesday, i felt very sick. Lethargic and vomited triple times until my stomach had nothing to be thrown out. My head was dizzy and i thought, i was welcoming vertigo back after a few months. I recovered after 20 hours on Thursday. Left alone home bcs everyone went to Kedah, Besut and Pahang. I supposed to join the Kedah’s trip, but couldn’t do so due to my bad condition.

And today, Saturday, start from the morning, i feel uneasiness at my stomach and keep vomiting. But, i dont think this sickness since Wednesday is vertigo. Bcs, it’s different.

When i suffered from vertigo, i just have to sleep. Close my eyes. And, i would be energic again. But this time is no. I couldnt sleep at all. I feel like throwing out all of the time and its damn sick!

Now feeling better after vomit. Need to take care of myself more.

I think my body is aging too fast. Sick sick and sick..