They keep talking abt halim and asking me to accept him. But i just too lazy to think abt marriage and anything relates to human-relationship.
Halim is a good person. Polite. Hardworking. Not handsome. Honest. I can describe him more than people else as i have been friend to him almost 5 years. But in these years, i never seen him as more than a friend.
Just, i literally dont want to think abt anything. I ve got too much work and commitments as i really need some rest.
Ohhh please someone sleep beside me. I am quite overthink and scared right now. Ohhh, tired 😵😵😵
Today pt Syakra, a 5th year medical student, texted me saying that she is coming from Alex to meet me for second cupping treatment.
She once met me three weeks ago for her rectum ulcer. And after her first treatment, her bowel got well and no more constipation.
I am glad to hear this kind of news. I am just glad to help people.
Tak tahu nak kecik hati atau kesian.
Tapi endingnya, memang aku jenis kesian kan orang walau nak marah sekalipun.
Mungkin dulu aku selalu marah-marah, tuhan bagi aku nasib sekarang ‘tidak diberi peluang untuk marah’ . Hahahhaa
What ever, aku lapar. Tolonglah abang tausil laju sikit 😒
Im teaching everyday. And now i think, i have reached the limit. Yesterday from 9 am to 4 pm. And today from 8,30 to 1,30 pm.
I kind of tired of book and got no energy left.
Having a headache and feeling uneasy body as the fever will come.
I got fever once per year. Cant walk or get out from my bed. I need someone to hold me when i need going to the toilet. And it took more than a week for me to recover.
Thats why i hate being sick. Its not even considered as a rest. But another thing that put me into a very weak body and sleep for whole week without any appetite to eat.
I hope, i am getting well soon. I got too much things to do.
Look at you.
You have lived for people that never sacrificed their second of time for you, never acknowledge your worth.
I have been with you, sharing your billion times inhales and exhales since you were born.
So how come, you never thank me? For this whole life accompanying.
And how come you never realized my existence inside you. I see you talking, laughing, shouting and crying.
Is there any of your feelings that i not yet feel?
Please, look at me sometimes.
I have seen you with too many people and they hurt you no matter how kind you were to them.
I repeatedly said to you, to just stop!
But you never hear me.
I hope, you will start thinking about me one day.
A girl came to me today for her irregular mestruation problem. I made the treatment but after that i acknowledged that she has worst constipation which is once a week and sometimes once a month.
I told her i will continue the treatment right away but she repeatedly said next time. I understand that she think abt how to pay me.
I said to her, if you are sick and got no money, just come to me. I dont ask for money.
And after she back home, she texted me to say thank and gladly tell me that her blood of menstruation is coming out right after treatment.
….. when i was younger that i am, i keep praying to God that if my fate is unfortunate (i hope not), please let me help people. Let people uses me. Let me be a human servant. So, when it is judgement day, God will pity at me. As i used to give help, then He helps me by not throwing me to the hell.
I searched for a drama about chinese medicine and found The Imperial Doctress.
After two episodes, i saw Bo Jin Yan which i couldnt believe it. Why he looks like that???
So for miscarriage, we used zu san li, san yin ciao and san jiao.
I dont even know if im stressed out these days. But literally i got no appetite.
I dont feel like want to eat even when hungry. So i went to restaurants with hope that i will eat, but ended up just eat a little of it and stop.
My housemates’s cooking for two days i didnt eat yet.
I feel lazy to do anything. Classes, courses, meeting people, doing bussines, work.
I dont know what i want to do.
But im bored to do nothing.
Got a new niece yesterday.
Im just glad that finally she had joined the mandarin class as she want.
At first, i didnt so interesed but i thought, it gonna give me more benefits with additional language especially while travelling. I also have took France Class because i want to go to france. Haha. But ended up i forgot everything except bon soiree, bon jour. literally i just love languanges but didnt put too much effort into it.
Just, i dont think she want me to stay in the class. I guess there is something wrong but i dont want to think abt it too much bcs it may lead to too much assumptions and i hate it.
So i might leave it. Hmmm i will i guess. I dont know what better for her but i think this is. She seem can get along with her classmates more than me hahahha. So she is okay for now.
I hope this is the best. 😦