I told nana abt the uneasiness of my head and vision. Sometimes, i afraid i might be collapse out of sudden because i can feel there is something wrong over my head.

I said that i shouldnt overthink but she replied, that sometime i must to overthink and not to take everything easy.

She said that she afraid if someone is dying because of her misdiagnosis due to less reading. She dont know what the possibility and the symptom refer to what kind of disease but, as my syncope didnt find any clue abt whats going on so she decide to propose me to her neuro doctor to make an eeg test.

But whyyyyy i always think there is no need to do any check up. Because im such a healthy girl and bright women. Lalaalala



I just dont believe myself when she turned out being a very kind person to me yesterday.

Well, she is orginally kind. Just, before, she seem like never care abt people.

I hope she wont get bored without me here after my return to Malaysia. Hahahhaha


It was exciting me when we are going to go out after i finish my exam.

But suddenly, i got upset stomach right after exam which i keep vomiting and i chose to take a nap before asr.

Thinking that i would be okay after wake up, but unfortunately, it worsen and i cant really stand up properly.

I called my friend telling that im sorry for cancel our girls night out. She said okay. But it was me who feeling so sad because i cannot go out wt her and get a molten cake with vanilla icecream as a topping which i am craving for that badly.

I am quite moody today. I talk to no one and reply no message except to a person.

People called my name and i wasnt deaf so just say it although i dont reply it. 

I hope my problem would find its end soon. 

I met too much people,

Some of them, became my treasures.

And another some, became my friends.

Certain people doesnt like me so i just ignore them.

And none of them had stayed with me from the beginning to this moment except my family.


The exam is just around the corner and i, honestly have done nothing.

I am too playful. 

But im a little bit worried because  i know, time never enough and i shouldnt waste any of it.

Final exam. Graduating. 


Sometimes, i think that i am drown into fantasy too deep.

Imagined abt having such a wonderful family, husband and kids. Good title at work wt high salary. Travelling outside the country once or twice a month.

Open up a private kitchen for my self satisfication. At the same time, i want to be a lecturer at college. Beside doing some traditional treatment as it exciting me most of the time except being tired. 

But i believe, i got no time for all of that.


Above of all, i imagined of a person. Wonderful guy. Nice and kind. Respectful and mindful. Understand and accept me for who i am…

Give me a flower every week wt a kiss on my cheek. 

Argue with me sometimes so one of us will get sulk and another one plays their part.

Whenever its raining outside, i can ask for his hand to accompany me for rain shower.

Or, we can enjoy our hot coffee beside the glass window, talking abt kids. Or abt our cats.

He, the one that i can miss every second of my life. 

The one that i can reach whenever i need a help.

Never get bored of me no matter how annoying i might be to him ( sometime)

He, writes me some letters. I just love this kind of oldschool stuffs. 

He, a person that i can rely and cry on his shoulder.

A person that makes this world easier for me.

A person that would still hold my hand no matter how badly he is mad at me.

A person that will trust in me no matter what happen.

He would be my person that i cherish the most. 

So, until now im not getting married because of waiting this kind of person. Hahahahhahahaha


Windy and cloudy . 

I love it but i dont know why, today is hard. I got emotional and feel like dont want to talk to anybody.

A few things trigger me but i think its just my day. My day to be  a very quite one.

And we got class pregraduate photography and i dont even attend it. 

And nana offer me icecream and when i ask to use her spoon, she told me to get it one myself, so i just return to where i sat and continue watching drama. She asked if i was sulk but i am not really. I just lazy and got annoyed.