Two ways

She is interesting, kind and genius.

But i am nothing, selfish and dumb.


I am not emotional right now, but for the sake of rationalism, i have been unfair to myself and people around me.

I chose people that i love over people that always love me, respect me, trust me, treat me like a family.

I reject them, cancel my promise wt them. Not concerning while i obviously see their sadness over their faces. 

I ve been sick by people ignoring me while i am giving my best for them. Waiting for hours and days. 

I know, that i easily forgive people, give them another, more and more chances. Very soon like i never cried yesterday.

I know that i will try to approach them, asking for acceptance and forgiveness as i feel like ive done wrong to them.

Because i know, they never change. They will keep ignoring whenever they want to. They will cancel their promise when they feel like to break it without notify me. I dont mind this part but i feel like ive been used by them. When they dont need me, they keep me away.

So how dumb i am if i stay. 

Dear me, please understand and do not take yourself for granted. 

No matter how much you love them, care for them, just let them as they want to. They want to stay away from you, so why not you keep your distance from them?

Believe me , and do not believe others.

Kak ifa

Hahahaa i dont know if i should happy for this or not.

Kak ifa had moved to Terengganu as her husband got a job as lecturer in UITM dungun.

Hahahahahhahaha, my beloved and wonderful friend, that i visit every year at Sungai Buloh. Now i can save my travel money.

But i know, she is sad. Thats why i shouldnt be too happy for this. 


I had and still having no mood to study like its just 5 hours left before this morning exam but i just read like 2 chapters out of 10.

I slept for two nights and wake up for sahur.

This morning, i woke up late and have to cook for sahur but qilot messed wt me by scolding me to not cook while 3 people were cooking in the same time.

I was upset so i just drank mineral water and open a book.

I want to cry but i dont know by which reason has made me sadder.

I got a dream that i went traveling somewhere and there is my bestfriend and its just made me feel more upset actually. I wish she always in a good condition in this ramadhan as she always get sick huhu.

I dont know if i need or want to tell her that i am flying back to Malaysia soon 😦

Oh i need to read really but i want to cryyyyy

Final exam

So, i just finished three papers in a week and 4 more left.

For The Noble Quran paper, i made a big mistake. Haha, i wrote down the exact answer at first then i change three part of it at last minute. Haha.. its okay even a lil bit upset, but yeahh what to do…

For islamic jurisprudence, the question was quite hard for us. Especially for the classical text. Hoho..

And today, Hadeeth, too much questions. And most of the question asking for the details. I answered about 8 pages in less than 2 hours because we began 10 minutes late.

AlAzhar just changed the time of examination from 3 hours to 2 hours about 2 years. So, before, we answer 10 pages in 3 hours. Hahahahhaha.

Fortunately, the question wasnt too hard so i can quickly write it down but unfortunately i miss some part due to short of time. Huhu

I am, a little bit confused, i promised aisyah to go to Europe wt her but until now, she didnt decide any and start to ignore me again.

She likes to cancel things actually that made me feel confused either i should trust and wait for her or not.

Now i am stucked between going back to Malaysia or travel and then back to malaysia after that. Huhu

I said to dad that i might not going back to Malaysia for Eid.

Suddenly i received a text from dad that he just transferred a sum of money for flight ticket. 

Your daughter is speechless.

So, am i going back for good this Eid?