Finally break up with him.. we are done..



Its from last night, i think i need her the most.. but i cannot tell her. Maybe its my pride that restrain me.

Or i think, my home is too unpleasant to her so i dont want to tell her even i m at my lowest point since last night. She dislike coming here.. huhu

And yes, i hate showing my tears to others. I hate people be near to me or talk or asking stupid question while i was crying.. 


I couldnt stop crying since an hour ago… received a message from my sister about syifaa.

She is already admitted into icu at hsnz and can accept no visitor for the time being..

Heart, lung, stomach are already affected..

Kak mamud

She texted me this evening, she said that she might not continue her master study at Azhar.

It made me really in a bad mood and sorrow..

I have no malaysian friend other than her.. i am quite introvert and couldnt make friend.. i want to quit..

I feel like want to quit my master study rn..

It may take longer than 3 years alone…

I couldnt imagine myself…


I am sure that i am having a very bad attitude. I hardly agree to another idea when i ve thought very deep about certain idea that i think its better.

But, my other bad habit is, i agree and just tell them to just go on with their ideas.. and yeah, i will follow with soar heart and might not enjoying at all. 


I choose to keep silent when it comes to people’s feeling and excitement.

Just let them go with what they want..

I am not ignoring my happiness,  i will redoing that activity/plan/trip or whatever in my own way… 

but yeah, i am very in crying mode right now.. i told tojak but yeah, he is a man afterall. Couldnt understand woman…

So i am ending up crying hard inside my chest rn.. my skin almost crack. My heart might blown up. 

Afterall, you are all alone, Saadah…

I wish i could marry you, someone who read my blog daily… and there is none hahahahhahahahahahahahahahahha


Damn tired… 

brought afina family for a week and then fatiha family for a week..

Couldnt focus on my study well..

This will be done soon…